Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Tearful Goodbyes

No, not really, but I am gonna lay low for a while. I'll keep posting little things. Maybe not everyday. But as I was compiling my 100 things about me list, guess what I discovered. It was over 19 pages long. Single-spaced, except for the extra space between entries. And do you know what that made me think about? My novel! Which I've all but abandoned these last several weeks. If I had put that same energy and effort into my novel, I'd nearly be done with the first draft. So as I renew my efforts in hopes of a resurgence, and as I continue to ponder the questions of the universe and search for answers, my time spent blogging will be minimal. My time spent on the internet will be minimal. I shall engross myself in my life's work. Really make it become my life's work. For I've been treating it more like a hobby as of late. I got myself caught up in so many other things that I found no time for my real writing and bible study. And this cannot continue. I calculated it, and I only have five hours on the days or nights that I work in which to do other things that don't involve sleeping, getting to work, working, or getting home from work. Only five hours in which to live. I'm lucky if I can wrestle two hours of it into writing time. And I've also got my garden and my nieces to play with and people to talk to. A good chunk of it is used in my bible reading and pondering time, and sometimes I just need to relax a bit. So until I can make enough money with my writing to write full time, I fear I have little choice. And the only way to make enough money writing to be able to do it full time, I've got to write enough in the little time that I do have to get something finished that a publisher might want to purchase, thus garnering the aforementioned money that could buy me the time that would allow me to write perpetually. I hate to look at it that way. I hate to think that I'm writing for money. I don't really. I don't write what I think publishers will want, thus compromising my artistic integrity or moral aptitude. But when I have finished what I'm writing, I will seek a publisher in lieu of monetary gain. So look at it and think of it what you will.

2 comments:

Carol said...

Your calculations sound like something I might have done. Your deductions sound rational.
Instead of thinking how you wasted time with those 19 pages, think of it as a refreshing break from your novel. Perhaps you needed it.
I hope your writing time goes well but more importantly I pray that you will grow to understand the Bible more and more.
May God bless you, Cuz.

k8 said...

okay i'll check back in a few.