cinco mas

16. I'm missing the tip of my pointer finger on my right hand. How did this happen? Well, I was making some homemade french fries. I was using a newfangled vegetable slicer. But it was getting my fries too thin, see. I like em thick. So I pressed down harder on the flimsy plastic to make the slices thicker. My finger slipped down on the potato as I approached the blade. I was really horrified at what I had just done. It didn't hurt all that much at first that I can recall. I remember thinking that I had chopped off a bit too much. It would have been okay if I'd just shaved a little skin. But no, I trimmed my finger down to the meat near the bone. I got dizzy from the blood loss. I had to sit down. That is probably the most mortal thing that has happened to me. I began to wonder if maybe I would die from this. Sounds ridiculous, but I was a little lightheaded at that moment. But I'm happy to say that my sister in law finished making the french fries for me with a regular knife after my brother tossed the veggie slicer in the trash. It didn't take as long as I thought it would before I could start typing again. For a while I would miss keys or type the wrong key because I couldn't feel with that finger anymore. The nurse said I probably wouldn't ever feel anything with it again. But I'm also happy to say that I have most of my feeling back in it, and I'm typing better than ever. I go days at a time without realizing the tip of my finger is gone. It's not ghastly. Nobody ever notices it. It's not like a disfigurement. I have to hold my finger up and mention that I cut the tip of my finger off before people even realize something is odd. So it's cool. It was a learning experience, and I came out clean on the other side. But in the moment, staring at the gouts of blood pouring into the sink, I really thought this might be the end of me.

17. I like to think that I am better than I really am. Maybe this isn't very specific. Maybe everybody thinks this way. But eventually I get back down to earth and realize that I'm not better than I really am. That's sort of an oxymoron. You can't be better than you are. If you were better, well, then would still be just who you are. You can improve yourself. Your future self can be better than your past self, but your present self can't be better than your present self. It would be like saying that this candybar that I'm eating is better than this candybar that I'm eating. It is what it is. You are who you are. Makes sense, right?

18. Growing up, I wanted so very much to be a child prodigy. I guess this is sort of related to #17. I wanted to be so smart that people would ooh and aah. I wanted to be so fast and strong that people would ooh and aah some more. I wanted to be this perfect being. But we all fall short of the glory of God.

19. I want everyone to like me, but I'm very aware that most people don't. I try very hard to keep people from disliking me. I give them no reason to, in other words. But you have to get to know me before you can like me. I'm just that kind of person. On the surface, I seem very unlikable. Quiet, withdrawn. It's part of my introversive personality.

20. A long time ago, I made a truce with spiders. I will only kill them if they are in my home. Otherwise, I leave them be. Unless they're black widows or brown recluses. I made no truce with those two.