Lyrical Gangster

Not really. But I'm super tired tonight, so I'm going to take a crack at a short poem that may or may not rhyme about this girl I have alluded to.

Some 15 Billion people,
perhaps,
have lived,
between now and the past.

Each one,
at some point,
found love,
or were shunned.

I see it,
with her,
this potential,
for love.

For holding,
and caring,
and anger,
and tears.

I've sought,
reached out,
been shy,
been shunned.

I fear,
those feelings,
will tear me apart,
again.

The darkness,
that follows,
consumes me,
I can't see the light.

But there she is,
she's shining,
she's smiling,
So beautiful.

In her silence,
she has grace,
behind her eyes,
there is cunning.

Not for me,
I fear,
but I can't stop thinking,
I can't stop compromising my own hopes and dreams and desires to make this so.

Yeah, I told you I can't write poetry. I talked extensively again with my department manager. Again...maybe I never told you about the times we talked before. This is a different person than the one I told you about that had some weird ideas. I talked to my department manager for a goodish while. We can hardly work, we get so interested in our conversation. He's a cool guy. I felt bad for talking instead of working, so I forewent my first 15 minute break, so it was more like I only didn't work for five or six minutes, which is okay. I ended up making him late getting home, but I don't think he minded. He's going to send me some interesting stuff on numbers in the bible and how numbers unify the old and new testaments together. In exchange I'm gonna send him some of my wild and whacky story ideas to think on, see if he can help me focus the message I'm going to try and include into these stories.

Okay, okay. I finished chapter 17 on my novel this morning. By chapter I mean ten or twelve or so pages. Usually ten. I'm not sure how the chapters are actually gonna line up when I set out to do the second draft. Right now everything's pretty much a massive freewrite. I'm almost two-thirds of the way through the first draft. I got about five or six more major scenes before I can move into the last act. I'm probably going to end up making myself cry before I get to the end of this. And that's saying a lot since I didn't even cry when I watched The Passion of the Christ. But I was a different person back then. I used to be really cold. But now I try to let my spirit be free and abound with the rest of God's creation. But the writing's going good and the bible reading's going good. The only thing not going good is my job at the Evil Empire. But I'll never be happy at any job until I'm a full-time writer. Writing and yardwork are the only work related things that make me happy. Not sure why I like yardwork so much with my horrible allergies. But I do. I just love it with a sneeze and gallons of snot.

I apologize for that horrible poem. I should probably remove it, but I'm just too tired to be embarrassed about it right now. And I don't figure anybody reads this Blog anyways. So what's the difference.